updated 05/07/2014 AT 2:00 AM ET
•originally published 05/07/2014 AT 6:45 AM ET
Note to readers: Never invite Ramona Singer to your home if you don’t have air conditioning, live in the Hamptons, have someone to carry her luggage, or have an ambulance on standby.
On Tuesday’s The Real Housewives of New York City, Heather Thomson made the mistake of inviting Singer to an all-girls’ weekend she hosted at her Berkshires home, and the Pinot Princess didn’t handle the great outdoors well at all.
“Who goes to the Berkshires? Nobody goes to the Berkshires!” said Singer, who later researched the price of homes there. “The average price in her area is $300,000. The Berkshires is more for people who, well, can’t afford the Hamptons.”
Continued Singer: “Does she have a tennis court? A pool? I don’t like humble. I like nice. I like luxurious.”
Undaunted, Singer ordered air conditioning to be delivered to Thomson’s home – which she called “a garage” upon her arrival – and installed in her bedroom.
“Ramona is the oldest,” joked Thomson. “Old people do like to stay cool in the summer.”
“I think it’s obnoxious,” said Kristen Taekman, who got a drink tossed in her face by Singer last week. “It’s tacky you don’t do that.”
When Thomson took the housewives canoeing on her lake, Singer responded, “Swimming in a pond? Are you kidding me? Am I frog?”
As Thomson and Taekman swam, and Carole Radziwill attempted to fish, Singer blasted Taekman and her husband, Josh – who had called Sonja Morgan “delusional” and “bananas” after trying to help sort out her many business ventures.
Taekman overheard the conversation and began to splash Singer from the lake and ruin her new ‘do, just as she had done the previous week.
“I was trying to help your friend,” said Taekman, who had invited Morgan to her home to brainstorm with her husband. “You have not helped her in 20 years.”
Upset, Singer tossed her wine glass at Taekman, splitting her lip.
“This is two for two now,” Singer said. “You’re a f–––ing bitch.”
As LuAnn de Lesseps (kudos to the Countess for being a nurse) assessed the situation, Radziwill abandoned ship, jumping out of the canoe she shared with Singer and Morgan.
“You guys are crazy,” she said. “I’m out of here.”
The duo paddled back to shore, but the water did little to cool off Singer.
“She got me wet. I just threw my glass,” said Singer. “Don’t mess with me.”
The battle in the Berkshires continues next Tuesday (9 p.m. ET) on Bravo.