11/11/2008 AT 3:20 PM ET
Eleven years seems like an eternity for a Hollywood marriage, but to Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, the time has flown.
They share their secrets to parenting and wedded bliss in the December issue of Essence – by asking each other tough questions.
In response to Jada’s question – what does he love about marriage? – Will spoke of the power of love as a connective force.
“The truth about life is that we’re all alone,” he said. “But when somebody loves you that experience is shared. Love is the only real connective tissue that allows you to not live and die by yourself.”
But Jada insisted that managing any relationship was no easy task.
“People have said to me, ‘Oh, you make it look so easy,’ and I’m like, ‘Have you been in a relationship?’”
With three children and two other young adult relatives living under their roof, Jada had a lot to say about parenting.
“You can see how children develop their self-esteem when they are allowed to make their own choices,” she said. “They feel that they have ownership of their life.”
As for the true key to a lasting marriage, Will boiled it down to one word: dedication.
The secret is removing divorce as an option. Anyone who gives themselves that option will get a divorce.