updated 05/01/2009 AT 2:00 PM ET
•originally published 05/01/2009 AT 3:10 PM ET
Two years ago, 3-year-old Madeleine McCann disappeared while her parents were at dinner during a family vacation in Portugal.
When asked whether she allows herself to imagine the worst, Kate McCann, who was once a suspect in the unsolved case with her husband Gerry, reveals, “I do. As a mom, inevitably there are times when I do. There are the times that I kind of dip down.”
And does she suspect an abductor spent time watching the family before Madeleine disappeared, Kate says, “It makes you feel sick, actually, when you think about it.”
Instead of dividing them, the tragedy and subsequent accusations that they were involved in the disappearance served to strengthen their bond, Gerry says.
While officials closed the case last summer, the McCanns emphasized their commitment to finding their daughter. Kate, in fact, has kept her room unchanged, ready for her return.
“It’s all ready,” she says. “I go in about twice a day. Morning and evening, [I] just say hello. Tell her we’re still going, you know, we’re going to do everything we can to find her.”