updated 09/09/2009 AT 10:00 AM ET
•originally published 09/09/2009 AT 12:15 PM ET
Janet Jackson, who will honor her late brother Michael during a special appearance at the MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday night, admits in her first interview since his death, “I’ve been doing okay,” but adds, “It’s really hard to believe he’s passed.”
The singer, 43, who appears on the cover of the October issue of Harper’s Bazaar, tells the magazine the last time she saw Michael alive was at family gathering on May 14, where they cracked each other up over Thai food. “We had so much fun that day … [He] would laugh so hard, he would just start crying,” she says.