12/07/2009 AT 6:35 PM ET
After years of feuding, Tori Spelling and her mother Candy Spelling are putting their differences aside for the sake of Tori’s kids.
“They have been in communications,” Tori’s husband Dean McDermott told PEOPLE at ABC Family’s World Record Elf Party on Monday in New York City. “Candy has seen the kids, which is what this is all about.”
Tori, 36, and Candy, 64, have had a long-standing feud since family patriarch Aaron Spelling died two years ago. Both wrote tell-all books – each taking jabs at each other. Tori said she and her “simply never meshed.”
And earlier this year Candy wrote a public letter to Tori in response to the season finale of her reality show Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood. In the finale, Tori agonizes about inviting Candy to her daughter’s first birthday party. (Candy doesn’t show.)
Instead, Candy accused her daughter of using her grandchildren Liam, 2, and Stella, 1, as “reality-show props.”
For now, it appears the ice has melted on their relationship. As for more details, McDermott says his family is staying mum. “We are keeping all this private like it should be,” he says.