updated 12/09/2009 AT 10:00 AM ET
•originally published 12/10/2009 AT 6:20 AM ET
Actress Joely Richardson and her late sister may have been as different as “chalk and cheese,” but they were also soulmates – and Joely accepts that there will forever be an empty space in her heart where Natasha used to be.
“We were completely enmeshed in each other,” Joely, 44, tells the January issue of Britain’s Tatler magazine. “I hadn’t lived a day in my life without her. You worry about your children and your elders, but I never imagined such a thing as this. Tash was a given to me.”
“The shock shatters you on a cellular level, and it takes time for the pieces to come back together, albeit in a different formation,” she said. “I cannot imagine that there will ever be a day when I don’t think of Tasha.”
The actress has thrown herself into acting work, most recently finishing her filming of the latest season of The Tudors alongside Jonathan Rhys-Meyers.
But for her, part of getting over her grief is learning to accept it.
“I don’t look at happiness as being a great goal. A sense of peace, definitely, but it’s like the seasons,” she says. “I think we’re meant to have a spring, summer, autumn and winter. I’m not looking for a perpetual summer because that would be a flat line.”