updated 05/04/2012 AT 11:00 AM ET
•originally published 05/04/2012 AT 11:15 AM ET
When news broke in December that Debra Messing and her husband of 10 years, Daniel Zelman, were divorcing – and then that Messing was dating her Smash costar, Will Chase, who is also going through a divorce – the actress said she was prepared for the backlash.
But she’s learned to not let it get the better of her.
“I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible – embracing saying ‘no’ and being okay with people being unhappy with me,” Messing, 43, tells Ladies Home Journal.