updated 08/13/2012 AT 3:00 PM ET
•originally published 08/14/2012 AT 8:00 AM ET
“I live by the mantra that God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle,” says the former American Idol judge and PEOPLE’s 2011 Most Beautiful, who, according to InStyle’s September cover story (on newsstands this Friday), has reached a crossroads in her life – a result of her 2011 split from her husband of seven years, Marc Anthony.
“It’s not until something bad or difficult happens that you really get to grow,” says Lopez, 43. And, at that point, “You realize: There’s no reason to be terrified of things. Either way I’m going to be OK.”
The magazine reports that as a single mother of 4-year-old twins Max and Emme, Lopez will now concentrate on being an entertainer, an entrepreneur and a self-proclaimed romantic who mixes business with pleasure.
“At this point in my life,” she says, “I’ve learned I can really survive things.”
The secret to success, she states, is in “finding balance … You have to know what makes you happy – so your life is what you always dreamed it could be.”
And while she is not quoted in the profile about boyfriend Casper Smart, 25, he is described in the article as sitting out one of her concerts at a soundboard.
Speaking generally, she says, “The most important quality the man in my life should have is that he is sweet. I like the good guys.
She also addresses readers’ questions, including one about love, and what specifically are the highs and lows that come with being a romantic.
“The hard part is that you never stop believing in love,” responds Lopez. “You never stop. But that’s also the best part. You never stop believing, and you never, never give up.”