updated 11/28/2012 AT 5:00 PM ET
•originally published 11/29/2012 AT 3:20 PM ET
In her PEOPLE.com blog, Diem Brown, the Real World/Road Rules Challenge contestant recently diagnosed with ovarian cancer for the second time, opens up about her desire for a child and the ups and downs of cancer and fertility procedures.
I have always been a list girl: Things I need to accomplish by a certain age; places I want to visit within five years; must-haves for my fall wardrobe. I actually have lists of my lists!
I have always believed that by writing your hopes, dreams and your daily errands down, the lists become achievable. I guess it’s that whole The Secret thang Oprah talked about, but basically for me, lists equal getting things done and moving forward.
At this moment in my life, I HAVE to make lists just to keep my head on straight! Any patient will tell you: Just because you’re ill, the world doesn’t slow down. If anything your world becomes more cluttered and overwhelming.
Admittedly I have slacked on certain areas in my life, like getting back to people in a timely manor, daily errands, bills – even my work has taken a hit. But making a list helps me map out how to get back on track.
I mentioned feeling overwhelmed and having to make a list to keep your head on straight, well this is why
You have heard of “pregnancy brain”? Well, I imagine “chemo brain” works the same way. I feel like my head is so clouded that seemingly simple tasks take SO much effort to accomplish.
Returning an item to a store but leaving your receipt at home. Frantically searching for your keys only to find them right in front of your face . Walking out the front door, forgetting the keys you just found and locking yourself out.
Oh, and my favorite: missing your flight home for Thanksgiving because you told the cab diver the wrong airport (JFK not LGA) so you book a last-minute train home to D.C. Then, when your train arrives at your destination, you leave your purse on the train!