updated 01/09/2013 AT 10:00 AM ET
•originally published 01/09/2013 AT 10:55 AM ET
“I can’t just only be on reality TV and show everything when it’s fairy princess, fairytale, and then not take my hits when I have to,” she says on Wednesday’s The Ellen DeGeneres Show. “Just going through something personal you have so many different emotions, and I feel like a bit of a disappointment to all of you. And, I feel like a failure.”
“You are not a disappointment. You are not a failure,” DeGeneres says.
“I feel like a failure. I really put it out there. I wanted the fairytale,” Frankel responds. “I thought I had it. And [daughter] Bryn is my fairytale … Love is everywhere. It’s the road and you’re on it. It has peaks and valleys, and that’s what it is, but I don’t know how people go through this because this is excruciating.”
News of the split between the Skinnygirl mogul, 42, and Hoppy first broke just before the holidays with Frankel releasing a statement. “It brings me great sadness to say that Jason and I are separating. This was an extremely difficult decision that as a woman and a mother, I have to accept as the best choice for our family,” she said at the time.
Frankel then filed divorce papers in early January.
As for her decision to divorce, Frankel tells DeGeneres she “wanted to rip the Band-Aid off” so she could “start to heal,” but that she struggles with what lies ahead.
“You know everything and one day you don’t know. So I’m scared. I’m older. And I want to be able to say to people … It’s about what I do now … I never thought I’d be a role model but I think to some people I am or have been,” she says.
“This is an important time because it’s about what I do next. How I handle myself now with grace, with dignity. Now is the time that matters.”