updated 07/15/2013 AT 5:00 PM ET
•originally published 07/16/2013 AT 2:00 PM ET
Dear Honey Boo Boo Child:
When Here Comes Honey Boo Boo debuted on TLC last summer, I thought the sky was falling and that civilization was ending. The show seemed to expose viewers to a new low in what passes for American life on TV – I never got over that local swimming hole with the warning sign about flesh-eating bacteria – and at the same time I thought it exploited you, your Mama June and your siblings.
I thought it was especially condescending, and insulting, for the show’s producers to supply subtitles translating your dialogue, even though your family’s Southern accents are admittedly jowl-shakingly thick.
But here we are a year later, with season 2 starting Wednesday, and I redneckognize (as you’d say) that you meant and did no harm. All the Boo-hating was a big to-boo about nothing. For instance …
Is your show responsible for the fact that 90 percent of all TV is now about serial killers?
Is it your fault that a great sitcom like the now-dead Happy Endings enjoyed a viewership of 6.5 households?
Was it your idea to kill off Cousin Matthew with such a stupidly arbitrary car crash on hoighty-toity Downton Abbey?
Are you accountable for NSA spying? IRS profiling?