updated 09/04/2013 AT 5:45 PM ET
•originally published 09/05/2013 AT 12:00 PM ET
After successfully battling ovarian cancer for the second time and sharing her journey on PEOPLE.com, Diem Brown is back to blogging. This time around, she will not only share updates on her own life, but also about competing on her new show, MTV’s The Challenge: Rivals II.
As we go through different experiences in life we often feel the need to gain and maintain control of our surroundings, hearts and life paths. We all find comfort in things we can control. We yearn for schedules, routines and things that remain constant when the world throws us curveballs.
But when we become ill or encounter various life roadblocks, the urgency and need for that control becomes stronger.
If you would have called me a control freak 10 years ago, I would have thrown my head back and arms in the air laughingly saying, “Ha, heck no. I’m free as a bird! Whatever happens, happens! Just live life, baby!”
However, “living life” has had some setbacks for me. And I started feeling the need to control everything that was controllable … It became my security blanket but it also became a wall that held me back.