updated 09/12/2013 AT 12:00 PM ET
•originally published 09/12/2013 AT 1:35 PM ET
After successfully battling ovarian cancer for the second time and sharing her journey on PEOPLE.com, Diem Brown is back to blogging. This time around, she will not only share updates on her own life, but also about competing on her new show, MTV’s The Challenge: Rivals II.
Getting hurt after you reluctantly open up to someone isn’t pretty. This week’s episode of Rivals 2 was really hard for me to watch. I’ve known that I’m horrible with dealing with confrontation and being hurt emotionally, but watching it unfold on TV was particularly difficult to stomach.
It’s never fun to have to choose between your friends while competing on these shows, but it’s a challenge and it always happens when the numbers dwindle down. I have known Anessa, Johnny, Wes, CT and Paula since 2006; we have all grown up together, both on these shows and personally in life away from MTV.
I have considered Wes and Johnny to be like brothers. Johnny was even my pseudo on-call doctor while going through my last bout with ovarian cancer. He would come over and help me with the injections that I had a hard time giving to myself. Sure, we’re a dysfunctional family of sorts but after knowing these people for over seven years, there is a bond there and you want to see and do the best for them.