updated 01/30/2014 AT 10:45 AM ET
•originally published 01/30/2014 AT 1:45 PM ET
Rarely does a moment go by without Tori Spelling finding time to post to her website, ediTORIal. And the day that her husband, Dean McDermott, publicly announced he was entering rehab was still a workday for the multitasker.
While McDermott, 47, apologized, saying he would be working on “some health and personal issues,” Spelling posted Valentine’s Day gift ideas to her blog.
The 40-year-old actress, mother, writer, businesswoman and DIY maven has since added style and recipe updates, including pictures of her crew of four kids: Liam, 6, Stella, 5, Hattie, 2, and Finn, 17 months.
“She once said she would never split up her family, and she seems to mean it,” says a source close to Spelling. “However, after the latest cheating rumors, Tori must have put her foot down. She likely gave him an ultimatum.”
Whether or not the couple work through this difficult time or part ways, friends say that it won’t because Spelling wasn’t trying.
“She’s a very hands-on mom,” says another source. “[And] she’s the financial force behind their family. She’s the one who is ultimately responsible for supporting their family. The pressure on her has always been enormous.”
For Spelling, having four kids in only seven years has taken a toll on the self-professed perfectionist.