updated 08/25/2015 AT 8:16 PM ET
•originally published 02/08/2014 AT 4:30 PM ET
On Thursday, the former The Hills star, 27, wrote a personal essay for The Huffington Post, in which he explained how he deftly kept his addiction a secret from his friends.
“A few years ago, I would host parties at my house in L.A. where there would be 50-100 people raging out of control. While everyone thought I was enjoying the party as much as they were, little did they know I was secretly going into the master bathroom and snorting as much coke and drinking as much alcohol as I could,” Wahler reveals, adding that he became quite adept at keeping secrets.
“When I was done, I would grab a beer and get back into the party as if nothing happened,” he adds.
Wahler – who appeared on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew in 2010 and has completed several stints in rehab – says the death of Hoffman at 46 serves as a reminder of his own, intense battle with substance abuse.
“It brought me right back to those days of partying where my addiction was so bad that I didn’t care who was around, how loud the music was, or how fancy the party was,” Wahler writes. “It wasn’t about the party at all – all I cared about was using and escaping reality even if it was by myself in a bathroom.”