updated 04/16/2014 AT 7:00 AM ET
•originally published 04/16/2014 AT 8:45 AM ET
Sharing the intimate moments of their life with the world is nothing new for Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott, but electing to film a docuseries about McDermott’s cheating scandal and stint in rehab has surprised even their closest friends.
“The decision to do this show is not coming from someone who is in a solid, good place. Tori is very, very upset and angry,” a longtime friend of Spelling’s says in this week’s issue of PEOPLE. “It’s just too raw and personal. There’s too much pain and it’s too private.”
Adds the source: “A part of her wants to completely humiliate him and make him suffer in front of millions of people. She wants to have some sort of justice. She wants him to truly feel the pain of what he did to her.”
The couple began filming just days after McDermott left rehab for sex addiction and will continue shooting for six episodes of True Tori.
The docuseries, which will premiere on Lifetime April 22, “was all Tori’s idea,” says the friend. “She’s in a total crisis mode. If she can believe that his addiction has nothing to do with her, then maybe they can move on. But there’s no way Dean wants to be humiliated on television for cheating on his wife. His life is basically a nightmare.”
In the series, McDermott pleads with Spelling to let him return to their house after rehab. “My life means nothing if you’re not in it,” he tells her.
A source close to the couple says McDermott is now staying at their home but primarily for the sake of the couple’s four young children.