"LOL. Cute hat @RussellCrowe. You wear it well. Maybe we should perform a Toxic/Work Song mashup ;)" – , complimenting the Les Misérables star’s striking resemblance to her “Toxic” video persona, on Twitter
"I’m not going to get married, Ryan. I’m not interested in that. I don’t have to prove to people that I’m straight." – Chelsea Handler, after pestering guest on when he’s going to pop the question to girlfriend , on her talk show
"What’s that, Jimmy? Is there a new host in town? And his initials are MD. That’s right, the doctor is in." – , in a “revenge video” promoting his appearance – and “ongoing – on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, on YouTube
"I feel like when I arrive at the hospital, I want a glass of whiskey, I want the epidural in my back and I want to be hit in the face with a baseball bat, and just wake me up when it’s over." – , detailing her ideal birthing plan, on The Ellen DeGeneres Show
"To address the most significant event of the weekend, I love her bangs." – President Barack Obama, weighing in on the most important talking point during his second inauguration – First Lady new do, at an inaugural ball
"It was probably a classic example of me probably being too much army and not enough prince." – , speaking out about his infamous naked Vegas photo scandal, in a newly released interview during his deployment in Afghanistan
"For the most masculine man I’ve ever laid eyes on, I’ve never heard such a girlie sound." – , whose partner Liev Schreiber was surprised by a poisonous frog during a trip to Thailand, on Jimmy Kimmel Live!