updated 06/26/2009 AT 12:00 PM ET
•originally published 06/26/2009 AT 1:00 PM ET
Michael Jackson would think about – and discuss – his death sometimes, his ex Lisa Marie Presley writes in a candid new entry on her MySpace blog.
“Years ago Michael and I were having a deep conversation about life in general,” Presley, 41, writes. “He stared at me very intensely and he stated with an almost calm certainty, ‘I am afraid that I am going to end up like [Elvis Presley], the way he did.’ I promptly tried to deter him from the idea, at which point he just shrugged his shoulders and nodded almost matter of fact as if to let me know, he knew what he knew and that was kind of that.”
Presley, who vehemently denies claims that their marriage was “a sham,” describes their marriage as “unusual.” “I do believe he loved me as much as he could love anyone and I loved him very much,” she writes of their 20 month union. (The two wed in the Dominican Republic in May 1994 and divorced in Jan. 1996.)
But Presley now writes that the relationship was too emotionally taxing. “I became very ill and emotionally/spiritually exhausted in my quest to save him from certain self-destructive behavior and from the awful vampires and leeches he would always manage to magnetize around him,” she writes. “I was in over my head while trying.”
Nevertheless, Presley remembers her ex fondly. “He was an amazing person and I am lucky to have gotten as close to him as I did and to have had the many experiences and years that we had together,” she posts. “I desperately hope that he can be relieved from his pain, pressure and turmoil now. He deserves to be free from all of that and I hope he is in a better place or will be.”