How to Dress Up Your Cat for Halloween

Things are about to get scary


updated 10/30/2013 AT 8:00 PM ET

originally published 10/30/2013 AT 12:35 PM ET

On the other 364 days of the year, we embrace the fact that it’s our cats’ world, and we just live in it (re: supply the snacks and/or companionship when desired).

But Halloween is the one opportunity we get to turn the tables – and you can only imagine how well that goes over if you have ever tried to convince your cat not to sit on your table. While we’re happily slipping into our onesies and Kardashian-inspired couture, our cats are far less enthusiastic about their costumes. Don’t believe us? Check out the scratches on our arms! Which is why we wanted to purr-fect the art of dressing your feline for fright night:

You’ll need:

The essentials: A cat, long sleeves, treats and a Halloween costume

Courtesy Alison Schwartz
A cat (associate producer Whitney Little graciously volunteered her rescue kitty Emma), a costume (we snagged this Finding Nemo costume from PetSmart because we watch a lot of Catfish), snacks (our model prefers Friskies Party Mix) and a long-sleeve sweater (for obvious reasons).

Not pictured: mood lighting, soothing music, unyielding hope.

Step 1: Let your cat know who’s boss

Your cat hasn’t taken you seriously since she caught you crying alone to your Adele CD. Lure your kitty away from that coffee table, sofa or, in Emma’s case, throne.

Step 2: Bring out the big guns

What is bribery again?

Courtesy Alison Schwartz
Will work, play and compromise immeasurable amounts of dignity for food.

Step 3: Introduce your cat to the costume

This is awful.

Courtesy Alison Schwartz
It helps to sprinkle said food within the costume.

Step 4: Go for it

Get your paws off me!

Courtesy Alison Schwartz
Once you sense your cat’s feeling of familiarity with the costume, spring into action and fasten the garment around your kitty. There is no time to think. You have an estimated seven seconds – go, go, go!

Step 5: Fail

Nice try.

Courtesy Alison Schwartz
Aw, man. You didn’t think you could actually outsmart your cat, did you?

Step 6: It’s snack time. Again

Round two.

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See step two.

Step 7: Make your move

Will we succeed this time around?

Courtesy Alison Schwartz
Remember: Like a lady wants to be wined and dined, your cat is most likely to respond to food and carefully executed back rubs. Now’s your chance.

Step 8: Darn it!

Courtesy Alison Schwartz
Solid effort, remarkable determination and impeccable dedication, human. This is what progress looks like.

Step 9: One more time with feeling

Courtesy Alison Schwartz
There’s not much you can do to regain your cat’s trust at this point.

Pro tip: Make sure your roommate’s door is closed

Sorry, roomie.

Step 10: Watch helplessly as your cat flees into a nearby closet

Step 11: Beg for mercy

Dearly beloved cat, you were right all along. I’m just a useless human, and you’re an incredibly gifted, flawless feline. I can only ask for your forgiveness. Take all the time you need. I respect your decision either way.