updated 08/25/2015 AT 8:16 PM ET
•originally published 09/21/2013 AT 9:15 AM ET
We’re assuming you haven’t just watched both seasons of Scandal, you inhaled them in an unhealthy amount of time (and if you’re not tuning into the show, we’re not sure what you’re doing with your life).
And we’re also assuming that like us, you’re a die-hard fan of D.C.’s sexiest crisis manager, one Olivia Pope (fabulously played by Kerry Washington). Wishing your life were a little more Scandal-ous? Follow these lessons out of the Pope playbook.
Lesson 1: Wear the pants (metaphorically and literally).
Have you noticed that Olivia rarely wears anything but pants, except in flashbacks? The boss of Pope and Associates has a very distinct stride (hair blowing behind her, big steps, fast pace, you get the point), and wearing a skirt would just slow her down (and no one slows down Olivia Pope). But don’t think she’s purely function over fashion. Her signature color is white, which is hardly a practical shade, especially when cleaning up crime scenes is part of your day job.
Sure, Olivia is tight with some of the most powerful people in the White House, but one of her closest confidants also happens to be a dude named Huck, whom she met while he was homeless on a subway platform and, let’s be honest, kind of scary. Her inner circle also includes Abby (a neurotic divorcee), Quinn (a very sweet sadist) and Harrison (a lawyer; enough said).
Lesson 3: Avoid interoffice relationships.
Dating a coworker: dicey. Dating your boss: dicier. Dating your boss, the President of the United States: diciest.
Lesson 4: Always be prepared for company.
You’ll never catch Olivia Pope hanging out in ratty college sweats, drinking cheap Pinot Grigio and eating a sleeve of Oreos. Instead, she spends her private time watching CNN in silk loungewear, sipping a (large) glass of red and eating popcorn, one kernel at a time, like a lady. No wonder she gets so many unexpected male visitors.
Lesson 5: Have the last word.
As much we’re rooting for Olivia and the President to find their happily ever after, we also love when they break up. That’s when Olivia delivers her epic verbal smackdowns that include lines like this: “I am not the girl the guy gets at the end of the movie. I am not a fantasy. If you want me, earn me! Until then, we are done.” #micdrop